3:30 AM

Three thirty in the morning can create a lot of odd thoughts for a pattern insomniac like me - the thought for the evening? Why is it that every man i've ever loved is either dead or has, at some point or another, tried to sleep with me against my will? (This is, of course, excluding the one that I'm sleeping with less often then I might like.)

I am apparently not the kind of girl that should ever be left alone with men. Frankly, I'm fairly certain that I'm not the kind of girl who should ever be around men at all because I'm apparently not very good with that half of the species. I mean, sure, I get along with them better than girls and for a couple of years, things seem to go pretty well. You could even say that they go swimmingly, and then things always seem to take a turn for the insane, possesive and, when it gets real fun, suicidal.

I should go ponder the meaning of existence, and possibly ask god - capitalization optional - for a third option.

Que Sera Sera.

Popularity

I love being read. Why, ladies and gents, do I love being read? Because, from time to time, I get e-mails like this.

I went to try and find the Bad Author thing you always post and couldn't! lol But in the process stumbled onto your blog and the lovely question about why on earth your numb limb will feel swollen. To some people it feels like that, and it's mainly because when the blood flow is cut off you're nerves are unable to interpret the signalling properly as a result of the loss of oxygen (due to the blood being cut off) in that area. Since some cells obviously will retain the feeling and proper nerve conduction there winds up being a large sense of space in the gaps where nerves are not firing properly, resulting in an 'inflated' feeling.

At least thats why it works like that when you have nerve damage. *looks at leg muttering about skiing accidents* With nerve damage the areas where nerves are not working properly will often feel 'inflated' a bit, and I've noticed that feeling with 'asleep' limbs as well so that would be my best, 'bio/pre-med/chemistry degree in a semester' major.

All in all, big thanks to Firefawn for the answer to my undying and inane questions :)

Penguins

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what happens when i run out of tasks that I can complete on the current, in use computer system.

"The penguins were cool because they waddle around and look cuddly but you can tell that behind the pleading birdy eyes they really want to rip your face off."

"And oh my god the river thingy exhibit was the coolest thing I have ever seen that included fish. A responsible journalist would look up the proper name and write "The Metamucil 'Keep it flowing' River Adventure..." but I am neither responsible nor journalist.

The River Adventure started out awesome to the tenth power and got exponentially better around every corner. The river flows over your head in some places, making you realize that fish are slightly less interesting when viewed from the bottom. On the other hand, you are looking up at fish without having pissed off a mob boss, so it is unique." [Sneer & Loafing - Dusty Scott]

Point of interest, i'd actually really love to go see that...were I ever to find occasion to be in Atlanta which, god willing, I never will.

Query

Okay, so i have a question. I was just about to carry on with the ritual of preparing for that whole "it's 2:30 in the afternoon" issue but, i realized I couldn't move my leg. Why, well because i'd cut off bloodflow to everything below my knee by sitting on it.

Why, you're asking yourself, is this worthy of a blog post? Because I have a medical question that I would like answered.

When you can barely feel your limb - in that stage of "there really is no blood in me and any movement you wish me to make will have to be done with the assitence of another limb that still maintains it's motor skills because, really, it's just not happening on it's own" - does your leg always feel swollen? It seems entirely counter intuative.

Mind you, i'm rather interested in the answer because like two weeks ago I learned why we twitch violently as we're falling asleep and I find the reason entirely fascinating. The brain interprets the body's slowdown as death and sends a jolt of instructions down the spinal cord to try to spur the system into life again. Or something to that effect. It's dark. I'm tired. I'm still not caffinated, leave my meager medical explaination alone.

I want fucking cinnamon rolls. Bastards.

Stupid Blog....

While I was posting my "So..erm...Holidays?" post, another, entirely unrelated topic occured to me, i got all excited and was going to tie that one up and create a new post but oh-no, now i've forgotten.

Damn you A-ron, this is all your fault.

So...erm...Holidays

The holidays went unusually well this year. Sad when i can say they went "unusually well" and I still had to take somewhere in the vacinity of 10 benadryl and cried twice.

The pies, apparently, went over like gangbusters...even though barbs were...well, one of them was...well, let's just say a funny color :) So, ya know, at least all of that time wasn't completely wasted. I've dodged 15 - count 'em, 15 - phone calls from my parents and my grandmother. They're only entering radio silence now, at 2 o'clock because they're at my Aunt's doing their second Thanksgiving dinner in two days. Bastards, they are. If they'd had it there way i'd be on my 5th. The phone calls, I should say, ended in a culminating call from my grandmother that not only sounded snerky but actually a little pissed off. Oh, and the media message that included a virtualbribe - my father made cinamon rolls.

It's sad when I don't like them enough to stay away, despite the promise of fresh from the oven, made from scratch, cinamon rolls.

Very sad, indeed.

All in all, I manged to not only eat yesterday, but to actually partake in the tradition of Thanksgiving Dinner. Fortunately, it's not that big of a deal here which is possibly the only reason i partook. Is partook a word? *goes to google*

Enough random drivel for the day, i've just finally run out of things that actually need my immediate tending (it's been an hour...jesus christ...)

Iraq

It's been a good, long while since I posted anything about the war but I just thought i'd say "What the hell?" The first thing that the Iraqi leaders can agree on is that they want us the fuck out of there. I think there's something to be said for that. Of course, the only reason we'll consent to that will be to send our boys over to Iran when we get a little upset over the whole "Nuclear power thing" they have going on right now. Ugh.

I Just Thought You Should Know

I just thought you should know that my right eye is swollen entirely shut and my left eye is soon to follow. I am not pleased.

I am, however, about to try to lay down because tomorrow...oh tomorrow...

*stabs tomorrow*

Retroactive Posting

Point of interest, and because I use my blog like a calender.

Finnigan Locke joins us today.

This has to be the first child to nearly give me a heart attack within 10 hours of it's birth. It really is going to take after it's dad. :P

Damn You Barb!

So my mother made chili tonight.

Keep reading once you're done tearing up from the laughter.

It consisted of two can's of tomato sauce, two cans of diced tomatoes, two cans of kidney beans and a packet of chili seasoning. Yeah. If you think that's funny, ask me about the pancakes :)

Barb has spoiled me. I demand good chili!

I'm Infamous!

One and Two

God, if they knew how I talked about my friends :P

Remind Me To Turn The TV Off

It's been a while since I updated, I have been misbehaving a bit in that realm.

The compulsive need to post and say something seems to be passing rather nicely and it's about time. Actually, it's more that the compulsive need to say something can't be met with any of the things I want to say because it's really bettter than I keep those things to myself :) Pity though, because you're all missing out on one hell of a laugh.

I cannot sleep with the tv on anymore. Ever.

Last night I fell asleep and had the customary dream about King with a gun to his head - again. (I could really take or leave this nightly torture, ladies and gents.) It was followed rather quickly (after I woke up and went back to sleep) by one of my extremly trippy dreams that usually involve secret agents. Then there was the dream about sex and I woke up this moroning dreaming about god, capitol G.

Looking at the tv listings for last night on the channel I was watching....wow, I need to just turn it off.

Washington Post Rox the Dictionary

Every year the Washington Post gets to have a good time with the English Language, a break from the norm for their usual antics with fact and politics.

These were a couple of the words that I thought desperately needed to be highlighed as they will be used for screennames and, in some cases, to refer to friends, in the very near future.

1. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright
ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign
of breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v): Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of
getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject
financially impotent for an indefinite period.

5. Sarchasm (n): The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person
who doesn't get it.

6. Inoculatte (v): To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

10 .Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming
only things that are good for you.

12 .Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when
they come at you rapidly.

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've
accidentally walked through a spider web.

15. Caterpallor (n.): The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the
fruit you're eating.

16. Ignoranus (n): A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

Perspective On Normal

Not so long ago i had an adorable avatar that read "Will Work For Perspective" This one, in fact.

I got my perspective issues sorted out and, even if I hadn't really had anything I needed perspective on at the time, it would still have been a cute avatar. At the moment, wow would I kill for a gauge on normal. In the last 30 days, King commited suicide. I talked to Colin - and nicely, I might add. I saw Colin and Sean and managed to confine myself to a room with them for like four hours with entirely non-violent results. I've stopped speaking to my mother entirely. Literally, we barely exchanged hello's because it's just quieter.

I've been hit on more levels than I can even begin to explain, and I know that everyone else has too - it isn't at all that I think i'm suffering a singular pain or anything. I can't imagine what everyone else is going through, given their personal histories. I wouldn't even begin to try, but I do know that my life sucks and that every insecurity and misgiving I have is being poked and prodded on a moment to moment basis right now and the way I always get myself out of it - my gauge on what's normal and aiming for that - is cut off to me. There's no one to ask for perspective and I have none of it myself.

Sucky.

Gilmore Girls

So two weeks ago i got the opportunity to do an unbiased comparisson of Alexis Bledels acting and - yes, it's gotten worse. I didn't know it was possible for three additional years of experience to make you a worse actress but oh boy is it.

This week, I have to ask; "Is Amy Sherman Pallidino even trying anymore?"

She brought Jess in out of NO WHERE and all we get is "Hey..." No shock - no awe - no "where the hell did you come from?"

Course, that might just be more of Alexis

No, This Must Be What Going Mad Feels Like

So, today...at least a 9 on the "how fucked up is that" meter?

Were I to mark two other days with 10 they would both be Thursdays. How fucked up is that?

I've been doing a lot of writing lately and a lot of stream of consciousness blogging but none of it here because, frankly, I practically go insane in my own head, no one else needs to be subjected to my madness. Thursday, November 27th almost two years ago, we definately hit a ten. October 27th - woah, creepy trend that i'm just now noticing - probably reaches for an 11 as i'm standing at King's funeral, in the same room with Sean and Colin, and it hadn't even taken a turn for the strange yet. Today, in the same vein, hits a 9.

Today, well, it's only a Monday but still - what the fuck?

Oh, and hey, who left the anon comment on Shell Shocked?

Problematic

So I skipped a day of blogging. It was Mike's birthday and there were other things to be tending to :)

I have to tell you, you're cramping my style :P

Me, the die-hard recorded, unrecorded, bad dubs, stuff that was vinyl only slug fan is feeling a little bit ebbed on by the popular bite around here :P

Changing a screenname now requires running the mental history to remember whether or not someone else has already scammed the verse in the last two weeks. This is going to take some getting used to :)

Still, good to see him getting some play somewhere other than my PC and my brother's video games. And as soon as Mike hands over his iPod so i can recoupe the lost files from Lucy Ford i'll get the discography assembled for you :P

Velley Girls Fre Shere!

So I was re-reading old blog posts today on account of my realization that Daily Scrub is about to turn three in a few months and I found this. Holy crap. Do i still talk like that?

"We need to stop and get me a keychain this evening cuz I really really need to get one...yes, yes I do. I have to have two keys just to get into my apartment. Ya know what else, I was so cute today, and then it rained and now my hairs all curly and bad *cries*"

Streak

I was shocked today when I realized that I wa sface to face wth a day in which I had nothing to blog (pardon my typing, i've just gotten out of the worlds hottest shower and my head is all fuzzy) Anywhoo, i've had quite the streak going here - what with the blogging on a daily basis. This is something I haven't done in a while and, while, techinically, I have blogged today, I still figured I should go for another - and then the question came; what to blog about?

But, oh no, fear not, your luck hasn't run out. It has come high time to SKIN again. I skinned for Halloween, then canceled the holiday, so i've spent the last two weeks refusing to visit my own website because the pumpkin depresses me but now that i'm back i can think of nothing to skin. Quick, help.

If you suggest a Thanksgiving themed skin, I shall surely be forced to kill you.

Added: And suddenly the ideas pour forward!

I just stopped to pick up some of the laundry strewn across my bedroom floor. There's a lot of it. Since King died i've litterally bounced back and forth between the notion of cleaning and not cleaning. You see, it's a safe bet than 90% of the things I own don't actually belong to me. Well, they do now, but only because i've long since adopted them from the person who left them here or there. King was no exception. I have an inordinate amount of his crap. Anywhoo I leaned over to pick up the clothes that I wore to his funeral. A week later in my smoke-free environment and WOAH you can still tell just how bad of a day that was. My perfume has worn off of them. The coffee smell from the coffee I spilled has worn off of them. But the cigarette smoke reigns eternal. Wow.

Yes, back to your regularly scheduled lives.

Bubbles

You know, I was sitting here the other day listening to a few people get bombarded with IM's and phone calls from people they aren't too keen on and yet again appreciating the happy little bubble that I live in - then I realized how far i've gone to create it. I have levels of blogs - one that the general public reads, another secluded to only those on my private MSN list and yet another that i'm not certain anyone at all has found yet. Then there is, of course, the three MSN and AIM accounts - all tiered to save me the trouble of having to speak to anyone I might want to avoid at any time. The e-mail addresses that are, while obvious if you knew me, carefully gaurded and the cellphone number that, at the moment, happens to span farther than a might like, gets changed every couple of years to keep awful croppings up from happening.

I like my bubble - or my fortress as it were.

Move To Strike

In no particular order

January 12th
April 17th
May 5th
June 29th
October 24th
November 27th
Thanksgiving (whatever day it falls)

And every instance of 4 am. Becuase, as was proven yet again, 4am is just a bad time for existence as a whole.

HuFu

Oh my god, I think i'm going to be ill.

I was catching up on all fo the Daily Show epsiodes I missed last week during the madness and I hit this disgusting piece.

HuFu

"HuFu: The Taste Of Friends"