Ryan's Voting

MSNBC - MSNBC TV Front Page

Guys!

All right.  What's going on?  I make a DIRECT jab at A-ron and i get nothing...no comments, no retaliatory posts, not even so much as a message.  I feel that you have all hit new lows.  COME BACK TO ME!

Oh, and if you're wondering why i'm not sleeping, its because I have a mouse.  The official morratorium on feeding the cats starts now.  But anyways, while i'm not scared of mice generally, this one seems to know that and want to climb in my bed.  Its annoying, and disgusting, and i'm afraid to go to sleep cuz its gonna crawl up here and climb in my mouth or something gross like that.  I know, i'm insnae, but there is no one here to defend me against it.

My Grandmother

My grandma is the BIGGEST conspiracy theorist I have ever met.  She just got done telling me to very interesting factoids today:

1.  I shouldn't have this blog becuase someone will find it when I run for president and use all of my views against me.  Journaling, both on paper and online, was a scam thought up by the government to track people's political views.  I counter that if they're tracking my political views THEY AREN'T DOING A VERY GOOD JOB OF LISTENING!  And who said I was running for president? I'm the one who's depressed by politics, why would I want a career in it?

2. The government is forcing companies to weave tracking devices into my clothes and everytime I go in for surgery they implant a tracking device into my body so they can find me.  This one was the real kicker. But she promises it isn't just a conspiracy theory, she's only telling me what is really going on in the world and I should just be prepared for it.

So here we go:

My Political Views:

• I hate W.
• I want the iraq war to be over,
• We had no right to be there in the first place
• I'm voting, even though it doesn't matter because our votes don't count.
• This nations education system sucks, and neither of our candidates have a satisfactory plan
• This nations health care system sucks, and neither of our candidates have a satisfactory plan
• This nations taxation system sucks, and neither one of our candidates has a satisfactory plan
• What happened to the constitution?  I'd like to know when it became okay to ignore the document that is essentially the "physics" of governmental interworkings.

For those of you tracking me, I'm sitting on my bed, wearing a rather indie t-shirt and jeans.  My computer is on the blue table next to my bed.  I'm not wearing a bra.  I have four spider bites, i'm itching them as we speak.  Good enough? Glad i could make it easy for you.  Don't bother with the tracking device, if i'm not here, i'm at mikes.  Call him, he'll answer.

Hallo

*waves at tony* so are we getting together when you come up or what kiddo?

No, this is not a private conversation between me and my imaginary friend, read the comments guys...Oh, and who wants to tell me what the box that just popped up said, cuz i clicked it before reading it. It was something about how firefox blocks pop-up's and how to make it not do that on certain sites...any takers? anybody? please?

Meet Fred

So here I am, thinking about death again, humbles the soul, helps the breath get...oh,wait, no. So here I am, posting from my new computer. Can you tell? Yeah, I sound happier don't I? Oh, and one more thing MY COMPUTER'S BETTER THAN A-RON'S. Okay, yes, back to business. I'm slowly transfering things from the EMachine to the new HP here...so, yes, and stuff. I should probably go to bed but I can't seem to sleep, i think i'm over-tired. I missed beka's party tonight and now i feel bad but i needed to get this computer thing taken care of as soon as possible before my head explodes. So if she's not mad at me, I hope she at least had fun.

Problems:
- the 60 day free trial of office was a sham, so i'll have to suffer with the other one until mike pity's me and installs the other one.
- Digital media edition was also a sham, so i'll have to wait until Microsoft e-mails me back to find out if they'll give me a new product key
- I have to go to Ikea and buy me a desk, because this whole "table" thing i've got working right now, while it is functional, really kinda sucks.
- i am over here *points to the floor* and all of my stuff is over there *points to the other computer* -- this is getting to be a problem.

Other than that, not too much to complain about really. It was a good price,I have to send in the rebates tomorrow for my $300 back, i got a 2-year warrenty from circuit city and that means that when something breaks, i can actually go assault an employee instead of screaming at one over the phone. Much more effective, i feel. I can play the sims again, so thats good...did that for a little while...I let the kiddies on the message board name all of my characters. Just as soon as i can get all of the kinks worked out, it'll be pretty nice.

Yay, everyone be happy for me. Except King and Mike, becuase they were already excited with me. They're on top of things.

"Blather at you later. My dog would approve of you, as would my cat (and HE is an elitist)...the fortune cookie thinks you rock too....Yes, plans to clone you are in process. I hope you don't mind"

I have found a soulmate on line :P  He called Hemingway a misogynistic hack. :)  By the way, this all makes sense in the context of the two page PM it came in.  The fortune cookie, the dog, the cat...all of it...

G'morning Everybody

WAKE UP!  Keep me company! I'm bored. 

...If i could find you now things would get better/
We could leave this town and run forever/
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away/
There's a piece of you that's here with me/
Its every where I go, its everything i see/
When i sleep I dream and it gets me by/
I can make believe that you're here tonight/
That you're here tonight/
If i could find you now things would get better/
We could leave this town and run forever/
I know some where some how we'll be together/
Let your waves crash down on me and take me away
I remember the look in your eyes/
When I told you that this was goodbye/
You were begging me not tonight not here not now/
We're looking up at the same night sky/
Keep pretending the sun will not rise/
We'll be together for one more night/
Somewhere, somehow/...

MSNBC - Bigger breasts offered as perk to U.S. soldiers

MSNBC - Bigger breasts offered as perk to U.S. soldiers

Hey, they're floatation devices. Could come in useful if you're in the navy...

Wow

MSNBC - Man charged with swinging gator at girlfriend

Lol, and i didn't think i was gonna have anything to blog about today... Read that first paragraph. JERRY JERRY JERRY! GOD BLESS AMERICA!

I Just Deleted Two Comments

Not because they were bad or i was offended, just cuz they were long and annoying and in the same spirit as the first one, but i figured you guys got the point so i left it.  And by the way..TONY!  I KNOW THAT WAS YOUR FAULT! ;P well, no i don't but i'll blame it on you anyway.

Oh! My! God!

I am Soooooo excited.  Everybody guess why.  Nope, WRONG!  Because i just found out that my favoritest panera person transfered to RACINE!  Which means i can see Chad without the horror of running into Hollie-Lynn Stanke.  Really, who has two names north of the mason-dixon?  I am totally jazzed.  Everyone be jazzed with me.  But its sad, cuz Beka doesn't like him so she's mean to him so i'll have to tell him to be nice to her and her to be nice to him because thats just not fair, he's the best!  He's such a dork!

Tehehe

That post was officially the most annoying post i've ever made.  Congratulations me.  Now back to my regularly scheduled hilarity....er...whatever.

New Template

Whaddya Think?  WOOOHOOO CHECK OUT ALL OF THESE OPTIONS!! I can...change the text color....
 

center things

 

send things to the right

1.  
2. Make
3. a
4. numbered

list

block quote things i want to say that i think are important from other websites and literary works, or just fuck around with it liek this...*makes a face*

 

Heat Index

"80F - Feels Like 87F"

I propose that if it feels like 87 we cut the crap and just call it 87. Just a thought. And i'd also like you to know that it is fucking freezing in my house so i'm going outside for a little while, finding a dry swimsuit, and going for a swim :P

Can a Pill Make You Smarter?

Can a Pill Make You Smarter? - Trustworthy, Physician-Reviewed Information from WebMD

Okay, now this i have to chime in on. While it would be great for me to think there really is a solution to the American public, other than a crip/playpen/jolly jumper (for the athletes among us), i know better. While a pill may be able to help you get to bed earlier, so will not drinking 15 cups of coffee and staying up to watch Conan. Furthermore, all that is doing is increasing your alertness and while that is great and does contribute to you not making off handed dumbass comments becuase you were drifiting off to sleep in the middle of your meeting, it doesn't make you smarter, it just makes you less of a jackass. Sure, they believe that breast feeding increases a childs IQ because it is higher in the protiens and nutrients babys need for brain development, and mother should take prenatal vitamins etc; the fact still remains that not only can we not prove the validity of those claims, you're pretty much stuck with what you have after you pass that stage.

The American people want to hear that there is a pill to solve all of their problems. Overweight, no don't go to the gym, take a walk, or just stop fucking over stuffing yourself; go to the doctor and he'll give you a prescription drug that has horrendus side-effects such as liver damage and heart disease, but hey, you'll be slim and best of all you didn't have to lift a finger. Stupid, hey, lets not spend sometime a the library reading books that come from the non-fiction section, lets instead run to the doctor and he'll give you a pill that causes liver damange and heart disease, but hey, at least you didn't have to do any work!

How To Get A Date

MSN Dating & Personals - Easy changes that'll increase your chances

I don't know if this is worth it, but check it out. :P

Barbie Girl: I'm Back

Barbie Girl: I'm Back

Bubbi - I'm currently waiting on my fully payed for packing slips. However, i waited a week for them and they didn't arrive before i called her. They were never sent but they should be here by tuesday (another week) and then i'll get my full refund in 30-45 days

I'm Back

As you might've noticed i've been lagging on the blogging, partially due to the lack of enthusiasm on all of your parts, and partly due to my lack of passion, but I found something tonight to piss me off, so wooohoo for that.  I came home tonight to find that the wrist wrest, crucial to my use of this archaic keyboard, was gone...my mouse that i've put on loan to my mother and i think she feels she's adopted by default, covered in grease as she let my disgusting 11 year old brotehr use it tonight...A low sitting sling chair in front of my computer as opposed to the blue computer chair, although uncomfortable, better suited to the height of our monitor and keyboard....a grocery bag on my bed containing a disgusting floral lampshade, gross orange soap dish, and what appears to be the makings of the guts of a lamp...I'm thrown and disgusted at the same time...and it seems as though the person who saw fit to lounge out on my bed today, got hot so they went out and got a fan, unplugging MY SHIT from MY SPACE to plug in THEIR FAN when THEY WEREN"T SUPPOSED TO BE THERE.  Pardon me if you comfort is inhibited while you're in my space...fuck off, get your own damn space.  The video camera is laying on the floor with all of its cords EVERYWHERE, and under my bed, where i have my shoes all organized so i can get them and yet i dont step on them and scuff them, someone shoved a junk drawer organizer, pushing four pairs of my shoes completely under the bed so that i had to move the bed to get them back out.  Now maybe i'm over reacting a little, but i'm a bit pissed off.  Oh, and someone changed the resolution and made it super small, normally not annoying, but since i have to sit, litterally, six feet from the screen in this chair, its a bit inconvienient.  I'm a bit pissed off :P

CNN.com - Mexico attorney general gets microchip implant - Jul 13, 2004

CNN.com - Mexico attorney general gets microchip implant - Jul 13, 2004

Oooh, you know when i was in seventh grade we had to invent a product using modern technology and create an ad campaign to sell it. My imaginary invention was a microchip that you implanted into your children so you always knew where they were...GPS on your kid, the new leash. I thought it was a good idea anyway, and for the record. My mother is in my bed again

Americans Unprepared for Psychological Terror - Trustworthy, Physician-Reviewed Information from WebMD

Americans Unprepared for Psychological Terror - Trustworthy, Physician-Reviewed Information from WebMD

They play on it for christs sake, not downplay it. People this is the US Government. They're talking about postponing the elections because someone wants to attack it like they're gonna hit every voting booth in the entire U.S. Thats not only insane its completely unrealistic. Psychological warfare is and always has been a very potent tool. Blitzkreig for christs sake, the entire point was the scare the crap out of people. And it worked, we had them boarding up doors, making blackouts for their windows, miniature blackouts from cigars. Anyone not complying with the rules would be fined heavily and possibly put in jail. While the blackouts had practical applications in those days they still played into the fear felt by every man, woman and child. Look at us today. Y2K. Generators, bottled water, guns, canned goods out the ass, purifiers. People built self-sufficent wooden huts up north and spent hundreds of thousands of dollars to do it. Does everyone remember the rush on saran wrap and duct tape? I do. You IDIOTS honestly thought that if you put saran wrap and duct tape on your windows you could outsmart biological warfare...forgot to think that you'd DIE from suffocation, and probably every single one of your neighbors coming to beat the shit out of you for your damn stupidity. For months after 911 people wouldn't fly, I still know people who are afraid to get on a plane or go into a high profile building. My grandmother almost had a fit when she found out i've been to the top of the John Hancock since. Christ grandma, if there's going to be a terrorist attack in the U.S. it's going to happen. I can't avoid it. I can't hide from it and i'm not going to spend the rest of my life afraid to leave my panic room for fear of dying. The odds are greater that i'd get hit by a car walking out my front door than that the voting booth i go to on election day is going to get bombed. Sure, maybe i'd worry if i lived in DC. Write the fuck in. This is insane. Lets everybody grow up and get real.

A Note To Michael Dell

Michael, Michael, Michael. What are you thinking? You've got this company that's known for its stellar customer care, amazing warrenties, and out of this world service. I don't know how you did it, and I'd certainly like to. You're fucking evil mastermind. Your evil lair has to be HUGE and full of spinning tops of death because I am diabolical, but even I couldn't have dreamed up something this good. You have this company that you've built from the ground up. Fuckin' American dream and shit. You start out with all of these things...great warrenty, great service, great tech support, great computers and you build it into a multi-million dollar conglomorate and then pull the switch. You ship your tech support and oyur customer care reps half way across the world and pay them 2 dollars an hour and you avoid taxes while you're doing it. They're not as picky, they dont require the work conditions we do, the days off, the health care, the break time, the wages. And, by doing this, you're lowering oyur level of support but the odds of anyone actually calling you are slim and then when they do you've got these people trained to pacify and put them off. You get them to tell you what they want to hear until they can get you off of the phone and drag things out so long that by the time they get someone who speaks enlgish and offers them anything they're so worn out from listenign to warnings about the sasser worm and people making them feel stupid that they're willing to take whatever the offer is, regardless of what their warrenty contract promised them. And then, the few persistent ones that either make it through the circle that is your technical support customer service pass off (another brilliant move by the way, make everything no one's fault) or snap and call your legal department get put on the phone with someone who tells them that they have a few options and proceeds to try to SCREW this person out of hundreds of dollars by denying responsibility for the problem.

I did learn something valuable from you though: push hard enough and you can get whatever the hell you want. See, first you were only going to give me a refurbished system or a partial refund, $500 for my $1500 computer i would still have if it wasn't for you jackasses. And then you were going to give me a refurbished system and a media player. I actually took that offer, but your interdepartmental memo system sucks and you guys ended up screwing yourselves over big time there. And then, finally, *cuz i snapped and called legal* you agree to give me a full refund, but i was gonna have to pay the 150 to ship both the Jukebox and the Inspiron back to you in addition to the data transfer from my harddrive that i would still be able to use if it wasn't for you JACKASSES. These are all costs you've incured, not me, and yet i'm responsible for them. I think no. SO...I call the legal department again and he manages to convince you to cover the shipping costs on both items and I pursuade my poor boyfriend to remove the data from my harddrive, and i resisted the urge to jump on it....AND THEN you never sent the packing slips for shipping. THIS HAS GONE ON FOR, wait for it...TWO FUCKING MONTHS.

Evil fucking genius, i swear to god. Michael Dell and the entire Bush Family. Fuckers.

I'm buying an HP, and some stock in Lockheed Martin...

Update

Just spoke with Dell..probably four different people...and just so you know, they all think i'm insane. No one has any record of any such agreement being set up that would involve the mailing of prepaid packing slips to me under any circumstances and would all like to know what the crazy lady is ranting and raving about. I have two words for you: Murderous Rampage.

I'm On Hold

Guess who! do do do do do do do...do do do do DO do do do do do do do...sorry, jepordy theme...i know that wasn't really evident there but ya know, i tried. Anyways, yes. If you guess Dell, you are CORRECT! Do you know why I'm on hold with DELL again. It's because my packing slips have not arrived yet and they were supposed to be here Friday, which was already me waiting over a week for them and they're STILL not here! Hey, how not cool is that. *sigh* so pissed off...

Ten Things To Live By That Bill Gates Wouldn't Tell You

1. Matt Daemon is god. Period. And, likewise, probably the sexiest person you will ever see.
2. Yellowcard is the band to rule all bands...this week. Buy their CD's cuz i'm not going to.
3. Sirius Black will live as long as the fans let him.
4. Ink is not for eating.
5. Most men don’t have the ass for leather pants. Get over it.
6. Nothing beats a trapeze artist.
7. There will never be a "new black." If there ever is, it will not be cobalt blue.
8. No show will ever top the OC
9. Harry Potter isn’t everything, but its right up their with oxygen
10. Mean people produce very small mean people.

Help Me Out Here

Do I strike any of you as a cheerleader? Really, be honest. And then when you all say "God no" please explain to me why the rest of the world seems to be horribly mistaken

Manditory Post

Its friday, and you know how i feel about going a day without posting...you just shouldn't do it. SOMETHING THE REST OF YOU PEOPLE HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT.....:P Post you fuckers, i'm bored.

Yet Another Reason I'm Not A Communist

Headline news from Sky News - Witness the event

Ehhhhhhhhh

Early morning...yuckie....want sleep

This Sucks

I was all excited...I was going to go buy a turtle shopping and pick out my turtle that i'm gonna get. I wanted a tiny turtle...one that fit in teh palm of my hand when it was fully grown.....like three, maybe four inches. And then the bomb dropped - its illegal to sell turtles smaller than four inches in the United States because some idiot mother bought her toddler a turtle and the kid put it in his mouth - thusly dying of Sallmonella.

Hi, yeah...not my problem. I have no intention of putting my adorable turtle anywhere near my mouth. My entire intention, in fact, is to feed it little bits of lettuce and gush over how cute it is but NOOOO some stupid two year old had to ruin it for all of us....Stupid toddlers...

PAY MORE ATTENTION TO YOUR FUCKIN KIDS! Okay, i'm going to go cry myself to sleep now because i can't have a turtle or my chool chamelion. Damn people. But my stupid mother can have a mean allergy dog...GRRRRRRRRR....

Grr

I think i have hit a cap on the amount of things i can allow to irratate me in a 24 hour period without snapping completely.

Date Single Dads!

MSN Dating & Personals - Daddy day care: Five reasons to date single dads

I wonder if i should tell these guys about Dustin. It would definately blow their theory out of the water.

Mr. Bean's Bastard Child

Check it out

Come On Guys

I know i've been blogging a lot and i know they've been long but that doesn't mean its my job to hold up with entire blogging world here. Get with the program. POST!

Return Of The IDDC

For those of you that don't know what the IDDC is, that being everyone but King and Mike, it stands for the "I Dated Doug Club." You see, Doug was this little kid that worked at Kemper and just about every girl I knew at the time dated Doug at least once for a few weeks whether out of pity, an actual crush, or lack of better things to do. Any way, Chris asked me if I knew this girl, to which I replied "no, and why the hell would I?" It seems that one of the members (we had stickers...no, seriously) carried on with it after my departure, you see, I started the club and hosted the first meeting because I thought it was funny. This person apparently dated Doug and was actually brought into the ranks officially. I'd still love to know by whom. Was it Trish, or perhaps Mellisa (yes King, i'm bringing that up again *shakes head disapprovingly*), or was it the ever elusive and bitchy Claire? Perhaps Allison, but this girl doesn't really strike me as Allison's type. Oh well, it was amusing while it lasted. Tata all, i'm off to re-watch this episode because its so great.

Jeez...

I promise, no more huge, rambling posts this month. (swears over a copy of Harry Potter)

You Guys Are Going To Be Begging For The OC

OMIGOD! Okay, so i just watched the most recent episode of the Gilmore girls, bringing me totally up to speed. The only thing i haven't watched is the last five episodes of season three but i'll get around to that when I get my new computer, because this whole "DSL" gig, sucks. Right but anyway, season four is near its end (only two more episodes) and its getting crazy. Rori...back with the guy she should've been with in the first place...except he's married now...Loralie (her mother), dating the guy she should've been with in the first place...grumpy diner man...and Loralie's parents - seperated. Yeah, its all good... Lol...what can i say, i need a fix until the OC comes back in November.

Happy Fourth Of July Everybody!

MSNBC - Red, white and groovin'

And on that note i'd like to comment on this article and probably digress into something that has been bothering me for a few weeks now with increasing severity. Most of you have heard this tyrade already so feel free to move right along, but for those of you who haven't, enjoy.

I've never known what its like to live in a different country. I've never known what its like to be without. I have a pool, a 14 foot trampoline, travel trailer, and a speed boat. There are four cellphones in this house, three computers, two internet connections, three tvs, and more books than you can shake a stick at. And I live in a small house on two modest incomes. The bangs and pops i'm listening to right now don't remind me of shellfire.

I read this article and it speaks as to what it means to be an American. It ends up with hotdogs, hamburgers, music, fireworks, beer, and chicken. What?! This country was founded on freedoms unheard of at the time. We have a lot of blackmarks on our past, the mass genocide of the American Indians, the WWF, slavery, Football, frivolous lawsuits, etc... But the most gregious blood on our hands is the blood that's being spilled right now all over the world. Sure, we're bringing home some of our troops that are currently occupying countries they don't need to be in, but we're only bringing them home because its suddenly about to become OK to prosecute them for war crimes on the international jury.

Yesterday, I got a letter from Armitage, my elementary school. Every so often they send us a survey asking us what we're up to. A few months later, they follow it with an Alumni letter, detailing what each member of our class is doing. In the time I was there no more than 10 males passed through our class, I could still name them all to you. Yesterday, I found out that four of them have joined the military and are at this very moment somewhere overseas fighting to protect us. Carl, Garret, Eric, and Robbie...These are kids I grew up with. When this war started I never thought to look back and see where they were. I guess I probably should have.

I've been worrying, primarially, about Kyle. I went to highschool with him at Prairie, knew him for maybe a year. We made a deal when he graduated, that he or his family would keep me posted when he left the country. They've kept that promise and as of a few weeks ago, he was still okay. In Iraq, but not missing any limbs.

What the hell are we doing over there? We handed them their government and we certainly aren't keeping the peace. Militants aren't going after Iraqi civilians, they're after us. If they want their country back, let them have it. We went in, we took out Saddam, which is all Bush really wanted to do. Why are we still there. Every day more American lives are lost, and for what? What are we doing for them? They don't want us there.

Are we making the world safer for democracy? While it may have been an arguable point before, i've seen no weapons of mass destruction, chemical or otherwise. Did we find Osama hiding in Saddam's coat pocket? No. Have we uncovered any plots to attack neighboring countries? No.

While I fully agree that Saddam is a psycho bastard by American standards, most Iraqi's, as we're finding now, seemed to like him. He killed insurgants and many innocent women and children died in the fray, but they're still dying today, but now their blood is on our hands.

Are we trying to stamp out Islamic extremists? Is that what we're after here? It's not going to happen. Extremism is dangerous in all forms. Extremist Christians started the Spanish Inquisition. Not a good idea. Look at Israel. This one tiny piece of land is so worth fighting for that thousands have died to protect it. It isn't made of gold, it doesn't have diamond mines or vast oil wells. What Israel has is something intangible but 100,000,000 times more deadly; a concentrated religious following.

This country was founded on the premise of freedom of choice in religion. Our founders came here to seek sanctuary from a government imposing its values on them and we have now become the British crown, heavy a few nuclear weapons. We are now flying across the world with assualt rifles, tanks, bombs, grenades, and more artilary than i care to think of to do just that; impose our values on a people that do not accept them. The only right we have to interfere in the soveringty of another nation comes when that nation refuses to allow political defectors safe passage out of the country or threatens the soverignity of another nation. We have done so, against Iraq. Every so often they get a little big for their britches and start building huge cannons, and we go in and take the cannon away and shake our finger. We don't have a right, given by God or man, to do more than that.

I just want my boys back. I want them home safe and I want them home soon. We've thrown mere children into war, something no one should ever have to see. For god's sake, they're running Drowning Pool through their helmet head-sets as the ride into cities. They're young enough to still listen to Drowning Pool. Good god... Does President Bush feel no paternal instincts toward the nation he has been entrusted to protect, but not only the nation, the protection of the Constitution he swore to uphold. The document may have a few old school flaws...like the fact that it doesn't recognize African American's as people...but by and large, they've got the basic ideas right; Freedom of the press, religion, speech. The freedom to peaceful assembly. Equality (like i said, it needs a little tweeking)...

I am so scared for these kids. I see a man, almost daily, who walks up and down the streets of Kenosha carrying an American flag. Everyone thinks he's homeless. He's not. He's a WWII Veteran, driven into madness by what he saw there. We fought that war for every man, woman, and child across Europe that died at the hands of Adolf Hitler. We fought that war for every soldier and nurse that died in the attack on Pearl Harbor. We fought that war for the safety of every American citizen.

Our troops offer their lives to protect us. Was it really worth it, Mr. President?

And You Thought Detroit Was Dangerous

CNN.com - Six dead in workplace murder-suicide - Jul 3, 2004

Factories are apparently not the place to work. RUN MIKE RUN!!!

For the record, i posted this before i left today at like 12, its now 11 and blogger doesn't think i posted it at all

Sad Things

Gram is in the hospitol this morning. She went in for a blood transfusion some time in the course of the night. There is a heart surgery she was scheduled for a few months back and then declined to get. She needs it bad, but she's terrified. Oh well, that's all.

MSN Entertainment - News - More Harsh Words from Bill Cosby

MSN Entertainment - News - More Harsh Words from Bill Cosby I like it anyway...

News: Girl Catches Fire In Cell Phone Disaster

News

I know that this page is kind of chaotic and I don't know how long the link will hold up but never the less I have to tell you, this is insane. Who would have expected your cellphone to spontaneously combust in your back pocket..

A Note To A-ron

He posted this and I just have one tiny little comment on the very last few sentances. Do you know how high my IQ is. Do you know how high Mike's IQ is? King maybe? Do you REALLY want either one of them for president. I love them both dearly...in completely different ways but hey...I digress...I wouldn't vote for either of them unless it meant I got to be Hillary... and buy a pet...cuz you get a pet when you're the presidents wife...and Hillary is just bad-ass in an old lady kind of way. Anyways...a high IQ does not cite sanity, morals, or good decision making skills. Out of fear for my life and the affections of hte onyl friends I have I won't cite instances of madness...I'll only say that i've been privy to more than enough instances that make me say "probably not the best world leader..."

"IQ tests are not a test of intelligence but a test of madness. The higher the score the tighter the straight jacket." Some crazy professor from Oxford was speaking at Carthage....crazy old guy...looked like Einstien...we got into a little chat while I was making Panini's...about his work. He was in the process of developing some new form of testing and anyways, he said that to me and i'll probably never forget it because it strikes me as horribly truthful.

Introspection

Addendum: YOU DON'T WANT TO READ THIS...ITS LONG...I BABBLE IN CIRCLES MINDLESSLY. IT'S MORE LIKE A DIARY ENTRY THAN A POST. DON'T BOTHER. Oh and also, don't be hurt by anything i've said, its 2 o'clock in the morning and i've got no idea what i'm talking about anymore. All i know is I have a cavity on the tip of my broken tooth and it hurts..

Nicholas asked me to do his little dial-up using ass a favor last night. He was looking for a good version of a song by Switchfoot, called "We Were Meant To Live." I downloaded it and previewed it to make sure it was free of "jitters"...i'm still not sure what they are but hey, it was at 224...there were no jitters. Anyways, the chorus, and its a crappy song, I admit, but I listened to about 20 different versions..."We were meant to live for so much more/have we lost ourselves..."

Perhaps it was the timing or maybe its just how I would've reacted no matter what, but it got me to thinking about my life as it stands. When I left Panera in April I never intended or wanted to be unemployed for this long. When I left, I didn't want to be unemployed at all but I decided it would be better for my psyche to take some time off. So I did. I had money saved, more than enough to live on for quite a while under my circumstances. By the time I thought I was ready to go back to work, any kind of work, my mother had borrowed $1000 dollars from me and between the car and the living i ran the rest dry. But, she was good for the money so I waited a little while, assuming that no matter what kind of work I took i'd need some sort of new wardrobe item for it, be it red t-shirts for target or whatever. And then things fell apart again but now they're more back together. Or at least, I know why they're broken and its something that only getting farther from June 29th is gonna solve. Except my mother says, oops, have to pay for Jameson's summer camp, I can only give you x-amount of dollars this week but don't worry, i'll give you the rest next check and oh no don't bother getting a job at Kohls or Target or anywhere else, I can get you something doing easier work wtih better hours pay and benefits if you just wait until the 30th. So I wait until the end of the month and then she spends $400 on a pool. I have a hard time complaining about that because i'm sure to get a lot of enjoyment out of it but really, she didn't ask me before she spent the money and now she can only pay me 200 this week. Now I have to wait until the 15th and by then i'm gonna have bills due, again, rendering me short overall. But she just assumes that its not important and that i'll be fine. She doesn't even ask...Ugh...

Anyway, that's not where I started or intended to end up. In 7th grade my mother told me that she couldn't afford to send me to Prairie, but if i could keep my grades above C's she'd find away. I had a problem with writing...paragraphs, full sentances, you name it I couldn't do it. While it may seem to you like it hasn't gotten better, it has. I can now write an essay like you wouldn't believe. I'm a fucking machine...as long as I have a spellchecker. I got a C- in my history class because I totally blew the final project, a reasearch paper on a country in Africa. I had the information, I knew the shit and could've spit it out at you like a fucking bullet but ask me to write it down and I burst into tears. She pulled me out and sent me to St. Joe's. The only reason I didn't end up in public school was my dad's parents bailing me out. Although I probably would've been better off in a public school, at least they admited that I was smarter than them.

I spent the whole year coasting. That was the year I got cocky. I'd spent the first half of my education in places where there were always equals. Granted, we were always at eachothers throats so it wasn't the best social environment but always mentally engaging. I hit St. Joe's, got thrown into honors highschool classes, they didn't have a french class I couldn't have tested out of. Here I sat in a room full of Jr's and Seniors as the only one who knew the answer. I took physical science for the second time. Not because I failed it, but because if they'd have let me into highschool science they might as well have just skipped me ahead. They would've but my mom wouldn't let them...didn't want me hanging out with "older kids." That one blew up in your face didn't it mom. Maybe that way I would've met some "older kids" who did a few less drugs, huh? Then Allison got cancer and Andy OD and it was a mess. At the end of the year we decided St. Joe's sucked but my parents couldn't afford Prairie.

I homeschooled. There began what I now know as my life. Seems silly right, but its actually a very logically linked progression. Laura, my best and only friend at the time, organized the benefit for Women's and Children's Horizons (funny how things get so ironic if you let them go long enouhg) We did pretty good too, considering I did it by myself and managed to raise about $400 profit. After that there was a big falling out, I didn't really talk to anyone from Prairie or Armitage anymore and I started getting depressed so my mom made me join the Red Cross's leadership program. YLDP. Shannon, the group leader, introduced me to a program in Kenosha, designed to combat juvinille delinquancy - I ended up on the youth board. We were supposed to be rallying against youth pregnancy, gangs, guns, and dropping out of school. Whatever. There i met Tom Overocker (ironically again, we ended up in the same 300 level class two years later) He dragged me into the Teen Task force. I think I was supposed to be his liason since he and his brother got ousted. He did a lot of talking through me in the beginning. It was right after Jan left.

Sophmore year i went back to Prairie and almost strangled myself. It was the same people. The same exact people who went to pre-school together, stayed together for primary, middle, and highschool. Half of them ended up at the same colleges. Thats sick but we won't talk about that.. Anyways, I did pretty well for the first few months, Allison and I were talking but she was no more drama, the cancer was gone, and i'd had some time to get away from Ian and Andy's deaths a little. I made a few friends, we stuck like glue. Coping mechanism. If you've never been to an elitist rich kid school, you'll never understand. And then there was Doug...followed shortly by Sean, who, in retrospect, only talked to me because i look like i'm 12...and then Trish...And Kevin...And Christian...And Dewayne...And Claire....And Joey...I keep emphasising this for a reason...these people were an extremely bad influance on me. I hadn't had an outlet for black nail polish in four very long years and it was really good to dye my hair a different color.

I regret damn near every decision I made that year. When i look back on it now I wish I could go back. I remember the August before Junior year started. I was supposed to be going to registration and I was so upset. I totally lost it. I didn't want to go back because if I went back it meant I was stuck in a tennis skirt listening to Christina Agulara, N'Sync, and 98 Degrees, spending my weekends at the country club with one of them. I should've just played along and hung out with Campbell and Fetek during lunch instead. I might not have been well liked but at least i'd have stuck it out there.

Oh well, I left and just went to college. Very wrong step. See I got so caught up in the idea that I could just cut the bullshit and move on that I couldn't see past it. My mother was so convinced, with her menial experience in the matter, that no school would dare refuse a kid with two years completed that she convinced me too. I should've stayed. I should've stuck it out, finished highschool the normal way. Joined the news paper...stuck wtih soccer...run for class president.

Nobody thought I was missing anything, doing what I did. Or at least, the people who did think i was missing something didn't stand a chance at being heard because by the time they found out about it I was already doing it and it was intoxicating. The first semester anyway. I came and went as I pleased. If i didn't show up for a class I didn't get called into the principals office. Shit, most of my professors didn't even notice. It took about two weeks to realize I was still one of the smartest people in the room but it was so fun to impress people...adults... I used to pull shit just to see how far i could push it. Too bad I didn't do that with my parents...in a non-academic way...

Good thing this is my chunk of cyber-space cuz i've babbled on for quite a while. Exactly no one is still reading this but thats okay.