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Tuesday, June 27

Warren Buffet, Are You Listening?

I know you just made a massive charitable donation, but I don't suppose you'd be willing to kick another $100,000.00 a year my way, would you? I have a great project in mind.

It's called "What Not To Do."

Here's the pitch, I spend 25 minutes a day on the internet finding sites like this one and, everytime I come across a kid that is that easy to find, I buy a plane ticket, rent a car and grab a video camera. When I get to their house, I knock on the front door, camera rolling, and say something like:

"Hi, my name is Kay and i'm a moderately savvy internet user. I found your daughter/son's home address, school name, schedule of activites, personal description and full body shots online in 15 minutes and, through the kind donations of America's second richest man and, arguably, the best investor of our time, was able to catch a plane out here and educate you fools on the perils of the internet and using just a modicum of common sense to prevent dirty nasty perverts (i.e., not me) from doing exactly what I did and finding your dumb ass."

Then, I will post the video's on the web (faces, addresses and locations obscured) with names like "Bust One" in hopes that parents might watch them and PAY ATTENTION TO THEIR STUPID ASS CHILDREN.

Now, I know $100,000.00 might seem like a lot, becuase all I really need is a HandiCam, airfare (and, yes, I would fly coach to save someone from themselves) and cab fare too and from the airport, but I'm also factoring in any legal fees I might or might not occur when the vein in my head starts to pulse and I accidently manhandle a disengaged parent.

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Congress Is Vexed

For the record, I don't read news at Yahoo! and I didn't read this news story there - I clicked through from the C-SPAN home page but the headline killed me

[Yahoo! : Bush Ignores Law He Inks, Vexing Congress]

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Pedophiles on the Brain

Yes, I know what time of year it is and, yes, I know why I have pedophiles on the brain, but what I can't help but notice is that the world is, for once, working with me.

This morning, Dateline goes before congress today with PEEJ at their side to present the data they've gathered during their stings over the last two years. Now lets just hope the friendly staff of PEEJ have a few moments - perhaps while waiting for people to make it in through the flood waters - to answer my e-mail about lending us a little hand at HPFF.

I would encourage those of you who have the time to take a moment to give it a watch. The live stream starts at 10AM EST (9AM CST)

Hey, shouldn't we all be dying of Bird Flu right now?

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Friday, June 23

Rapture Ready Weekly Post

Brought to me by a fine friend who shall remain anonymous so as to not be kicked out of the faith by these cyonide sucking psychopaths, I am happy to share wtih you Rapture Ready a website where you can share with other people your devout beliefs.

Note: This is not intended nor will condone the creation of flamers. I e-mock, but flaming is just plain rude. These people are entitled to their own beliefs on their own site as much as I am on mine, so be nice and no posting.

So, this week in Rapture Ready: The Perils of Yoga. Dare I say, Satanic in origin.

To chronicle a few gems - other than the above:

turn yoga into good by playing a bible on cd while stretching

Christian music plays in the background as the women take their places on cross-shaped mats.

Christian cheerleading camp

Yoga is not as innocent as it seems.

therefore is christian rock bad? no. <---that depends on whether of nor you have ears, methinks.


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Thursday, June 22

Meth Addicts

Not so terribly long ago, I complained quite publically about the damn meth addicts that took my beloved breathing meications (pseudoephedrine) behind the evil evil counter and out of my precious NyQuil. Now i know that most people dont' suffer from allergies like I suffer from allregies - because when I do something, I like to do it to the extreme - but anyone who has ever been exposed to an allergen knows, there's nothing more fun than not being able to breathe because your sinus cavity has swelled into nothing and the best part - now that i'm registering everytime I have to buy cold medicine and half the time I find that I still can't get the stuff that works because they're now using a substitue (really - what is Sudafed without the pseudoephedrine?

Well, today I learned something even more tragic. It's not working. According to statistical analysis and data, the meth on the streets today is more pure than it has ever been since it's inception and more easily available than ever before.

I hate suffering for nothing.

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Wednesday, June 21

It's AC/DC!

The last couple of nights i've been channel surfing somewhat more than I do and I was exposed to some...interesting...bands.

My friends have been joking for years that it's 1985 again and I was terrified when boys started showing up in skinny jeans which, when coupled with the long hair and pink shoes, makes them impossible to distinguish from the girls their age. What's worse - a few nights ago I was watching one of those horrible Late Night shows that really haven't worked since Sinatra died and I hear what must have literally been AC/DC - except the guy had really curly red hair. Then, tonight I turned on anther show and saw a band with a chick and went - AC/DC with girls instead of a school boy - but AC/DC none the less...

Annoyed.

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Friday, June 16

This Post Brought To You By Insomnia

Lunesta and Ambien sponser every show that is on at four AM...them and that Sealy commercial..

"Sleep - sleep - sleep - sleep, i love to sleep, sleep sleep sleep, i need my fourty winks..."

Arg.

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The Business of Philanthropy

I'm not one to frequently blog about business issues and news lately. I generally stick to my life, what happens on C-SPAN and the occasional update from the Kennedy camp but today a piece of the news caught my attention and I really can't pass up the opportunity.

Bill Gates, my favorite CEO announced today (or, yesterday, rather) that he will be leaving his day to day responsibilities at Microsoft to focus entirely on philanthrophy. Now, normally I would think a proclaimation like that was complete bullshit - because, really, come on, but from Bill Gates, I really couldn't be happier.

He's a business man and a geek and there is probably no one better to really take over than him. Angelina Jolie may be attractive and Oprah may have human interest, but Bill Gates has the business sense and the liquid cash to revolutionize the way aid is handled.

He may have changed the way the world works, but what he does for the world is far from over and I think he may just only now be embarking on the work he'll really be remembered for.

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Tuesday, June 13

Fishies!

You know, about five minutes after I posted that, I thought of something I could blog about.

I am in the market for a new pet. True, I still have three adorable dwarf hamsters left and I do love them dearly, but as their birthday comes and goes, I am painfully aware of the fact that they are coming up on the end of their 1 to 1 1/2 year life span and I don't want to be one of those pet owners that sits around pouting about their dead animals for ages before getting ready to, finally, go out and get a new one. That said, i'm over mammals. As much as I would love to go out and buy a cute little puppy, I can't because buying a puppy would be a suicidal move on my part. Thus, I've been in the market for a pet of another kind.

My initial thought was a turtle. Yes, I am still on that "turtle" thing and, yes, one day I will have one but that day is not today. Turtles (the kind it is legal to own in this country) really must be kept outside in a sort of habitat of their own, which means that I need to a) live in a climate where they will be warm enough and b) live in a place I know i'm going to be for a while. I am neither and, thus, my goal of owning a pet that will outlive me must wait so I've moved on to two prospects.


The Orchid Dottyback:
A relatively normal sized saltwater aquarium fish, I have decided that nothing this pink can exist in nature without being owned by yours truely.

True, owning one will mean that I have to learn all sorts of things about saltwater aquariums but I've done quite a bit of passive reasearch thus far and none of it has been particularly painful. Plus - hi, how pink is that?!!??!

They generally live about 2-4 years, which means it's not a pet you're stuck with into eternity if you don't like it and, for once, I wont be at all allergic to the animal I own. It's cute and it swims around and does adorable little things.

Still, as much as the fish appeals to me, I have qualms - oh the qualms :) Saltwater tanks are difficult to maintain - quite a bit more work than just wandering in once a week, dumping them out into a garbage bag and power spraying out the cage. *whistles* but the cute is overwhelming and the non-allergic, non-noisy factors have their advantages as well. Thus, I considered an interim to the interim pet.

The African Dwarf Frog:
I will admit, they're not that cute up close but, because they only ever get to be 1 1/4 inches long in their life-times, you never really have to look at them up quite that close. From what I can tell, as long as they're properly fed and the tank they live in isn't overstocked, they don't make a lot of noise. They can eat dried bloodworms - like the things you feed to Siamese Fighting Fish - and, freshwater or not, you can take care of them the same way you would any other kind of fish. A thin layer of gravel over the bottom of the tank and a penguin filter, some lighting, a few live plants and whatever else you feel like throwing in to make it cute. (Yes, if you're an animal enthusiast, i've done a lot more research than that - i know all about nitrate cycles and properly dechloronating tap water or useing distilled...and setting up the tank three week sbefore putting the frog in to allow the cycles to stabilize...)

As it stands today, that is probably the route I will end up going. They seem somewhat less succeptable to...well, my life...than my adorable pink fish but, mark my words, that fish will some day be mine.

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Blogging

I haven't had a lot to say of late, which is very uncharacteristic for me. Perhaps my spirit has finally been crushed? :)

No that's not the case - actually, i've been spending a fair bit of time chatting with other people and it takes time away from my ranting and raving. Incidently, i did almost do a bit on how much I hate jellyfish last night but I ended up spewing that bile all over a-ron.

Sorry guys and gals - but I am still alive and kicking - just not that hard.

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