New Favorite Show

So it's been a month since i posted and I really have no desire to tell anyone why because its exhasuting.

I do, however, want to tell everyone about my new favorite tv show - Charmed.

Oh. My. God.

So this is the third epsiode i've ever watched and they've already been suckedinto an EVIL ice cream truck while the third sister is off dealing with her daddy issues.

I'm psyched. This is better than Alias.

Happy News

Mike found a site for me the other night - happynews.com... Actually, in truth, he found it for himself, but he shared it with me because he knew I'd like to have a place that reports only the kinder-news my phsyical well being demands i read.

And then there was happiness. That is, of course, until a few minutes ago when, grumpy from having a crappy morning at work, I realized that happynews.com has added like four new stories since I logged on the last time - four days ago.

How un-freaking-nerving is that? That's all they could come up with - that some kid won a geography bee?

happynews, yes, that's right, happynews depresses me by its lack of new news.

Google Say What?

Ok, so i'm not at home right now, which is why I even have to ask this incrediably inane question. (Yes, I was reminded to take my lunch break. No, I have no idea how I will fill this manditory half hour and if they suggest I take an hour one more time, I may have to kill myself.) Anyway, I logged on to google, like you do on your lunch break, to see exactly how far outside the web of large company IT opression you could get - okay, i wasn't looking that hard, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't intranet bound. But yes, Google, thy sparse, subtle page has changed....

A lot.

A lot, a lot.

There is crap on Google? Someone tell me i'm halucinating or something. Over abudance of carrot sticks perhaps?

Prime Ministers Question Hour

I know that no one else watches this but, dude, it's so much fun. I missed it.

The yelling thing? And the sitting down thing? Oh boy.

The thing about it is this. As Americans, we think of the UK as sort of a civilized sort of place with lots of crazy, archane rules left over from the Monarchy - and yet, whenever someone speaks during question hour, the crowd heckles like it's Comedy Sportz.

Fish Eye Winery: Thinking Inside of the Box

Now we all know how I feel about boxed wine. I also feel negatively about the ginat bottles of wine that are practically kegs in and of themselves. I also have a problem with people who don't store their wine on a decline and let the cork dryout then get confused as to why their wine goes rancid.

I have a lot of problems with people and with wine but today...today I got a laugh. Fish Eye is advertising boxed wine as an equivolent to the casks used to store the raw...well, grape juice.

[url=http://www.fisheyewines.com/]Fish Eye Wines[/url]

WTF Happened To Edward Norton?

Okay, for those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, remember that scene in American History X where something really gross and probably offensive happened? Yeah, that was Edward Norton.

So, when I thought I saw a trailer for what looked like a clear chick flick and I swore to god I saw him it, I think I choked on my tongue a little.

Well, it would seem, from the limited information IMDB provides, that he is in not one but two chick flicks.

[The Illusionist | The Painted Veil]

I'm familliar with neither. Does anyone care to enlighten me because, from my cursory research...well, I'm disturbed.

Or maybe that it's that no image of him will ever be as firmly burned into my brain as the look on his face when his character snapped that guys neck....

More Things I Knew Before They Were At Hot Topic

I do this occasionally, find out that something is beloved by all of the little emo boys and girls and get pissed off because, god damnit, I had that when you either made it yourself or it came from lip service.

Well, today, ladies and gents - today I've found out that there is Foamy Wear at Hot Topic.

Do not make me go downstairs and get my faded ass, cafe press foamy sweatshirt, fanbrats.

Fuckers.

We Interupt Your Regularly Scheduled Broadcast

...to bring you a rant.

[IMDB: Atlas Shrugged Cast & Crew]

That sound you hear? That is the sound of my soul dying.

I actually want to cry a little.

Cream Cheesey Victory Is Mine!!!

I may not be able to end a war quickly, but after six years of searching for "Hello Kitty Alarm Clock' at varying intervals in search of the best alarm clock EVER, I was wandering through Best Buy tonight with Mike and FOUND IT!!

Stupid hiding type alarm clock. And to think, i'd have found them in SPADES if i thought to insert "Tea Cup"

Hello Kitty - making getting up more pleasent, one adorable clock at a time. Plus, dude, the lemon lights up.

The 4 Day War

I don't know how many of you were ever kids but, if you were, you probably played more than one game of WAR. A little bit like Bullshit, WAR involves a single deck of cards - no jokers. The deck is divided evenly between the players - if you have more than four, it's wise to get a second deck. Then, each player throws the top card from their pile and throws it into the center. The person who turned in the highest card takes them all. The game can end two ways. One, when one of the players have all of the cards or two, when you run out of time and you count the number of cards in each players hand and the person with the highest number wins. (There is a small variable there - when I was a kid, we used to - on occasion - actually count the point value of each card and the person with the highest number of points won.)

Well, you all also know that I am a terrible multi-tasker and that I have an almost pathological need to be entertained by several sources at all times so, since Mike and I haven't been particularly chatty lately, when I'm saving a .psd or a commercial is on, I've taken to playing cards all by my lonesome and one of the few games it's not totally weird to play alone is WAR. Divide the deck in two and there you have it.

Oh my god for the four day long game of WAR.

But, it's over now :) And that makes me happy so...ya know, yes, i'm still alive.

State of the Union

It should be said that I watched the State of the Union last night, a practice in which I don't usually engage.

Yes, that's right - I, who watch C-SPAN like it's a Saturday morning religious broadcast and I'm a slightly sullied soul, trying to wiggle out from under last nights companions arm, do not customarily watch one fo the largest political broadcasts of any given year. I don't like the State of the Union. It's politically irrelevant. Other than getting a pulse on how desperate the President is, there's little other reason to watch it. The Congressmen and women who appear - the dignitaries and, on occasion, the pop-culture heroes - are all carefully greased for the event and the speech is prepared word for word.

True, there's not a lot of honesty in a House or Senate session, but there are facial expressions, twitchy movements and intonations that even the most accomplished of liars can't hide. At least it's a little closer to the truth.

Anyway, last night I watched and, for those of you who didn't - the highlight reel.

John McCain, as it appeared at several points in the broadcast - eyes shut, head drooped, hands folded limply at is lap - was having a happy nap. He's had a run in with melanoma, it's true, but you'd think even if he were a current chemo patient, he could take some iron suppliments and kick that anemia for a few hours. The best part? He took part in the "on the steps response" covered by ABC's Charlie Gibson. Can you respond to something you slept through?

Charlie may be a more decent human being than I am, because he didn't point it out.

Ted Kennedy spent most of the evening looking like he was suffering from an even worse case of tongue biting syndrome than Hilary Clinton if the migraine-head-clutch was any indication. The notes were a little creepy too. Though, maybe he was losing at tic-tac-toe. Presidential hang-man? No, that was last month...

Because the most common camera angle was that of the Vice President and Speaker of the House sitting (or standing, or drinking, as it were) behind the President, I have to say that I think one of my favorite aspects of the evening (other than Redemption By Association Hour) was watching Cheney's tie...or maybe it was watching Pelosi purse her lips and look awkwardly in any direction but straight ahead or at our Commander in Chief.

If you didn't get a chance to watch, this installment of the SOU Address was far more amusing than most and you can watch it, straight from the U.S. Government here.

I Told You Fuckers

[The Number 23]

As most of you who are reading this know, most people I am aquaineted with have a deep seated phobia about the number 23 and, unhappily, it didn't originate with this movie.

Well, anyway. We all fucking told you so, and now movie producers know it too.

I should get myself a trend spotting gig.

Coffee Table Books

I am officially in love with this book.

[Pop-Up Kama Sutra]

Call Me Crazy

Now, I know I might be nuts - or maybe i'm only noticing this phenomenon because for the last month I've bascially been saturated in sex toys and bad porn - but has anyone else noticed that the British have better sex toys than we do? I mean, yeah, okay, they have no problem shipping them out with a US compatible AC adapter and product label, and i'm not complaining or anything cuz I like to think I'm a relatively easy girl to please, but doesn't it bother you that the worlds biggest super power isn't having the best sex? And the Japanese...well, the fact that they're sticking their cell phones up their asses is making our news, so I'm thinking they haven't made any fantastic strides either.

I'm just saying, it's a little depressing.

All right, i'm going to go back to writing my NANOWRIMO entry now before I tell you all of the things I learned about the Golden Showers genre this morning...*shudder*

Cutest. Socks. Ever

So, seriously - buy them.

I know the angle sucks but i'm a graphic designer, not a photographer. I can't be held responsible for my school girlish glee and crappy photography skills. It's hard to photograph your own feet while you're standing up and trying to resist the urge to dance in your cute socks.

This One's For Courtney

Now I remember why I seperated the blogs!

[Cathouse: The Series]

How is it that, until about an hour ago, I didn't know this series existed? It is sublime entertainment. A brothel in Vegas. I know that I don't need to say more, but I will because holy shit is this show hilarious.

Anyway, Courtney, you must find a way to procure this. I'd have told you this personally but you weren't online so you'll just have to find out this way.

iTunes 7 Part Deux

A few days ago, I blogged about iTunes 7 and someone asked me to clarify my claim that it will ruin your life so...erm...I will...or i'll try.

The only way i've found to fully describe it so far is 'Honey, remember how iTunes ran on Beta 1...yeah, it runs like that.' and I doubt that is going to do anyone not running Beta 1 any good.

Open up your case, pull out half your ram. Then turn on Photoshop, Image Ready, Firefox, Illustrator, Maya, Windows Media Player Beta 11 and pretty much any other power hungry piece of software you can find - then run them all at full capacity - render something in maya, open up a 200 layered document in Photoshop and then rip an mpeg clip into Image Ready, start creating some vectors, make good use of live search and open as many tabs as you can think of. Then, when you've got this all running (smoke should be coming out of your tower at this point) then and only then should you start iTunes and ask it to play a video.

It skips, jumps, jolts, does backflips and turns decent quality video and audio into a jerky mess.

It will ruin your life, it really will.

iTunes 7 Will Ruin Your Life

Mike told me yesterday - was it yesterday? - not to download iTunes 7 because it would ruin my life. Well, unfortunately, i'd already upgraded and, unfortunately it will ruin your life. Just so you know.

Justin Timberlake

Boredum and Good Morning America tends to deal a strange combination of activities for me and, this morning, it was a Justin Timberlake album - namely, the new one.

No.

Okay, i've never been that big of a fan - or...a fan at all, really - but I'm not impressed. The new single - SexyBack - isn't bad. I hated it more before I heard it so often...lately, the clubby-hip-hop scene has softened up and it tends to take me a bit longer to warm up to things so, ya know, it got me eventually. At least it got me to grab the album.

I thought "I Think She Knows" was going to be OK from the first few seconds but, nah...it tripped into that girlie-man, boy band sound way too quickly, and I almost choked on "What Goes Around Comes Around."

So, yeah, this is what happens when I have nothing else to blog about. It's a pity I don't feel more free to post about my actual life :P

Sorry all.

Watched Beerfest. Not Impressed

Okay, so yes, I went into this knowing it was a boy movie.

Customarily, a movie called beerfest whose trailers are filled with tits and the worlds most disgusting beverage wouldn't even be something that caught my attention. Maybe it was the excitment of seeing Clerks 2 or perhaps it was the ferver over the airing of a giant Snakes on a Plane trailer just beforehand but I was intrigued enough to at least give this film a try.

A lot of nice tits and a few good jokes but it was one of those movies where every funny moment was consolidated into a sixty second spot and aired as an advertisement.

Call me bitter, jaded, picky, and elitest but you're going to have to get up earlier in the afternoon to amuse me with a 9 inch sausage joke made by a 90-year old former prostitute.