Quandries and Pickles

Does it strike anyone else as terribly ironic that a President Bush is knocking a guy who, while defeated, still has an approval rating twice that of the Bush administration?

Annoying News

Today, the news is annoying.

Seriously, from the MySpace Presidential campaign contributions and the you tube sopranos spoof to the frnot page "oh my god, a small can can still be safe in a collision" article, I'm starying to lose my mind.

See Obama Run

Seeeeeeee.... slimey mother fucker.

Crazy Ass Asians

I know that, speaking in geopolitical terms, it's always the Middle East tauted for their crazy, unstable, violent political beliefs, tendancies and wide-termed etcetera but, I have news for you ladies and gentlemen, Middle Eastern militants may be fucking crazy, but they have nothing on the bat-shit insane antics of the Asians.

I could reference my favorite buffont wearing mother fucker, but to keep things simple, lets cite a current example - a quote from the Chinese diplomat sent to Darfur earlier this year.

"I didn't see a desperate scenario of people dying of hunger." - Liu Guijin

I grabbed that curtosy of a rather extensive article that made the front page of the paper version of the Trib today, including a rather large, full color photograph on page 20 with the articles extension. Of course, it was second on the page only to the giant ass ad, but I'm happy to see the violence in Darfur getting any press. Never the less, a great big WTF goes out to my good friend

Someone has been drinking John McCain's Kool-Aid.

You're Out, Tom.

I try really hard not to blog about the news unless it's something that really strikes a chord, either comical or otherwise. Today I have to blog, even though it's something I doubt many of you will understand.

[MSNBC: Bush's Monica Problem] "John F. Kennedy, after all, appointed his brother and consigliere Robert to be attorney general."

Robert Kennedy - Bobby, to those of you who know nothing about historical politics that wasn't in a Sean Connery movie - is famously touted for being an active opponent of the teamsters and, most specifically Jimmy Hoffa, which makes it ironic that he be referred to as the consigliere, the italian word for "counselor" as it has been long used in context to the mafia.

The best part, really though - oh my god he was totally the consigliere....

Anyway, yeah, that's that for my geeky Kennedy reference of the day.

I love apple sauce.

Mexico City Votes On Abortion

Well, even if we may be slipping back to The Dark Ages, it would appear that, in other places in the world, logic may still prevail. Of course, I'm not really sure how the population boom in Waukegan will handle it but maybe they'll find a way to be OK.

We Now Interrupt This Regularly Scheduled, Work Induced Lull To Bring You A Rant The Size Of Stupidity

One of the groovy things about the news is that, while a lot of you might not have a clue if I were to mention an obscure congressman, I bet, in this instance, you're all going to know what I mean when I mention the guy who shot the fuck out of Virginia Tech a few days ago.

No longer an avid or active news reader, myself - because reading it makes me do things like this - I try to stick to the kinderNews, new legs for panda bears and the like but, even with an extremely adequate filtration system as I have set up, when something like this goes wrong, everybody fucking says something. I suspect that more Coallition troops and Iraqi civilians died on April 16th than were killed in that school and I will gaurentee you that more people were savagely raped and murdered in Darfur on April 16th. Naturally, that's not to say that what happened on that campus was not a tragedy and doesn't deserve the be remembered - that the survivors and their families will not need to support, but it is to say that the American Ego might do well to spend a little less time complacently waiting for another thing to distract us from the many other complex, far-reaching, international indiscretions taking place each and every single day.

I was watching Bill Maher this morning. Now, I know, he's a controversial political comedian and what I normally have to say to people on the subject of him is "People, it was called Politically Incorrect!" but, today...today Mr. Bill Maher crossed a line with me. The man is certianly not a bastion of reason or sage advice - he's amusing and he knows that's his function. On occasion, however, I'm inclined to hold political comedians responsible, at least in the small view, for reaching their audience in some way and not just taking the easy joke. It's John Stewart on Crossfire, taking the moment to make a genuine appeal to American journalists to fully understand their role, their responsibilities and their impact. Whats worse, unlike The Daily Show or The Colbert Report, Real Time, on occasion, branches into actual political discourse as was done today with one Bill Moyers. Now, it's certianly not anything like the chicken chasing antics of Tucker Carlson, but he's about as much a real journalist as you or me. Hell, I probably researched the things I'm about to say more heavily than he researched his last piece on Karl Rove.

Anyway, all of that was to get me to this point - and some of it was just some self-serving rambling but it's my blog and there's nothing more self-serving than having one so fuck it. Bill Maher dedicated the majority of his program today (or Friday/Saturday, I guess...i'm downloading and viewing at a later date, you understand) to a discussion of the insane, gun control and how self-serving and unlucky this kid was but that he really just needed to get the fuck over it.

Do not get me wrong. This kid was self-serving, egotistical, probably clinically insane and really lacked any shred of reasonable coping skills. At some point you do have to grow up and move beyond a lot of the shit that happens in middle school and highschool and realize that that chapter of your life will eventually end, or take responsiblity for the fact that, on some level, if people don't like you it's because of something you're doing or something that you are and eventually you just have to find the people that do like you because they do exist out there and you will eventually get to them. Unless, of course, there's a clinical disorder at play and, at some point, a lisenced therapist and some high quality prescription medication are in order. The fact of the matter, however, is that in addition to whatever he was doing to further complicate his situation, the kid probably did not have it easy. From a likely tie to autism or asperger's syndrome to a cultural sterotype surrounding mental illness that his family appears to have been deeply involved in and into a school environment where no one - no one - is more cruel than children....It's no wonder by the time he made it to college he was stalking women and a lot more fucked up than even that suggests.

The news is confused. Bill Maher is confused. The entire journalistic camp of our mainstream media, comedians or otherwise, looks around and wonders "why?" - Why did he shoot up a school? Why did he kill a bunch of people who were never really that mean to him?

Because, you stupid ass mother fuckers, you were that mean to him.

Children are nothing if not cruel and I suspect if the mainstream media came out and asked where his teachers were when he was a child - why his parents didn't do more to help him deal with the issues he was having at home and at school - why an administrator didn't intervene to teach these other children to be kinder to other people...Well, there would probably be a lot fewer copy cats over the coming weeks.

You don't treat other people like that. You just don't.

Religious Pamphlet Day

So I brought all of these home wiht the intention of photographing them to share with all of you but then I didn't, so you get the abbreviated version :)

Dude.

Seriously.

I got like 15 religious pamphlets in the mail in the first fifteen minutes of my day yesterday, and none of them were as bad as the big red sticker on the outside of an envelope that read "Warning: America will never be blessed as long as 3500 babies are killed every day through abortions."

Prime Ministers Question Hour

I know that no one else watches this but, dude, it's so much fun. I missed it.

The yelling thing? And the sitting down thing? Oh boy.

The thing about it is this. As Americans, we think of the UK as sort of a civilized sort of place with lots of crazy, archane rules left over from the Monarchy - and yet, whenever someone speaks during question hour, the crowd heckles like it's Comedy Sportz.

Aoooooooooooh!

Does it scare anyone else when Oprah beds down with the devil himself?

I know he's anti pedophile but come on.

State of the Union

It should be said that I watched the State of the Union last night, a practice in which I don't usually engage.

Yes, that's right - I, who watch C-SPAN like it's a Saturday morning religious broadcast and I'm a slightly sullied soul, trying to wiggle out from under last nights companions arm, do not customarily watch one fo the largest political broadcasts of any given year. I don't like the State of the Union. It's politically irrelevant. Other than getting a pulse on how desperate the President is, there's little other reason to watch it. The Congressmen and women who appear - the dignitaries and, on occasion, the pop-culture heroes - are all carefully greased for the event and the speech is prepared word for word.

True, there's not a lot of honesty in a House or Senate session, but there are facial expressions, twitchy movements and intonations that even the most accomplished of liars can't hide. At least it's a little closer to the truth.

Anyway, last night I watched and, for those of you who didn't - the highlight reel.

John McCain, as it appeared at several points in the broadcast - eyes shut, head drooped, hands folded limply at is lap - was having a happy nap. He's had a run in with melanoma, it's true, but you'd think even if he were a current chemo patient, he could take some iron suppliments and kick that anemia for a few hours. The best part? He took part in the "on the steps response" covered by ABC's Charlie Gibson. Can you respond to something you slept through?

Charlie may be a more decent human being than I am, because he didn't point it out.

Ted Kennedy spent most of the evening looking like he was suffering from an even worse case of tongue biting syndrome than Hilary Clinton if the migraine-head-clutch was any indication. The notes were a little creepy too. Though, maybe he was losing at tic-tac-toe. Presidential hang-man? No, that was last month...

Because the most common camera angle was that of the Vice President and Speaker of the House sitting (or standing, or drinking, as it were) behind the President, I have to say that I think one of my favorite aspects of the evening (other than Redemption By Association Hour) was watching Cheney's tie...or maybe it was watching Pelosi purse her lips and look awkwardly in any direction but straight ahead or at our Commander in Chief.

If you didn't get a chance to watch, this installment of the SOU Address was far more amusing than most and you can watch it, straight from the U.S. Government here.

C-SPAN is on Fire

So I didn't watch C-SPAN yesterday, mostly because there was some boring shit going on. Big shit, but not as much fun sparring as I enjoy.

Today, however, today it has been a non-stop pissing match between the Republican's and Democrats and it's high quality entertainment.

[C-SPAN: Watch C-SPAN Live]

Some News

"Army Pvt. Evan A. Bixler, 21, Racine, Wis., died Sunday in Hit from enemy indirect fire; assigned to the 1st Battalion, 6th Infantry, 2nd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Infantry Division, Baumholder, Germany."

[[From the AP]]

...

I never really know what to say in situations like this, but they always leave me feeling like the event should be marked somehow - like maybe saying something with make it feel better. In my experience, it never does, but maybe this time it will.

Yesterday, an old friend was killed in action in Iraq. I found out tonight halfway through gift opening at my uncle's house. In the words of my tenth grade history teacher: War Bad.

Evan, thanks man. Amy, if you're out there, I'm sorry.

Save Darfur

I thought i'd pass this link along to those of you with the power of speech.

Save Darfur

I'm Supposed To Die Tonight

It's a pity really, that 25 minutes of my best "North Korea" material was just wasted on a 13 year old boy, because I think you all would've enjoyed it.

A few years ago, people started giving me hell for my statements against joining the military - namely that we're "fighting wars on four dangerous fronts, at this point." because they inevitably turned to me and said "four dangerous fronts?" and I said "Afgahnastan, Iraq, Iran and North Korea" and they said - "...?"

Ladies - Gentelmen, yup.

The hair really should've given it away. The crazy gets into the roots and just shoots out.

[MSNBC:: Nuclear Fucking Weapons]

Shop 'Til You Drop

I just thought I would let my US followers kno that, a scant 14 hours after the US Fiscal Year began, we've spent just shy of 6.5 Billion dollars.

That's All Folks!.

Woodward - Bernstein, Where Did You Go?

This morning, when I rolled out of bed - or rather, over to the keyboard, I found an article on MSNBC that caught my eye - Space Station Science Get's Squeezed. At the time, it was just a little article tucked under the science section that no one was really intended to notice but as, what is apparently a slow news day, trickled on, somehow, this travesty managed to get top billing with a great big pretty picture highlighting it at the top of the page.

The thing about it that caught my eye is - hi, i'm sleeping with a NASA geek but, even me, the relatively disconcerned, was wrapped up in it within a few sentences when I read the phrase "$100 billion white elephant" and almost fell out of my desk chair because - yeah, this is so not in the OP-ED section where it belongs.

What happened to fact checking? What happened to fully understanding a situation before you started spouting your mouth off? I know integrity isn't something you can expect from an individual on the street, your next-door neighbor or, in my case, your mother but christ - since when did it become truly acceptable for journalists not to care what kind of tripe their putting into the minds of the American public.

I know that people can't be jack-of-all-trades and that when you're reporting on a subject you're often given a short amount of time to educate yourself on something that is generally far to massive a subject matter for you to fully understand in the span of a few days, but when that happens, isn't it the resposibility of the journalist in question and of their editors and the owner of the paper to step in and tone down the condescending, malformed opinions a smidge?

FDA Approval

Once in a while, I find a reason to congratulate an arm of our government for doing something truly good. It doesn't happen that often, as my views on politics are relatively narrow and, while not pragmatic, are at least situationally aware.

Yesterday, there was a small victory for every woman in the US.

[MSNBC: FDA OK's 'morning after pill' without a prescrption.]

While the article should read an addendum of "to women over the age of 18" but a victory is a victory, no matter how you slice it.

Anything that can remove one obsticle between another accidental mother - right, gentlemen?

Note: A the same time, Plan B backers are still fighting the cause to give OTC access to girls under the age of 18.

Tucker Can Dance

Hey, can anyone confirm this? I was just watching TV or - rather, reading the captions on the tv - and I saw a commercial advertising Tucker Carlson as a future contestant on Dancing With The Stars.

I wonder if he'll wear the bowtie.