What The Hell?

Sometimes, I'm forced to wonder - what in the hell is wrong with this world?

Everyone reading this, far and wide, knows that I frequently rail on my mother for being a generally insensitive individual. She's intelligent enough to make you think she should know better, but no matter how hard you try, she never seems to actually know better. It's enough to drive a sane person crazy.

This morning, when I woke up in my freshly colored hell, I was striken with the overwhelming sense that I should not get out of bed today and, as I rolled over, kicked off my blankets slid my feet into slippers and plodded over many many moving boxes to the bathroom, I was certain there was something wrong wtih the air. Fifteen minutes later, I was aprised of what that was.

It, ladies and gentlemen, was the stink of extramarital affairs. Not mine, nor mikes, but my mother's - because nothing says dysfunction like a 40-year old, married, dyke. Yes, it's true, this morning, my mother was to be found galavanting around town with another married 40-year old dyke whom, earlier this week, she asked if she could sleep with - illiciting a completely called for "No," from my father. Since that ill-fated day, she has seen this woman 3 times, exchanged countless e-mails and phone calls and generally completely disregarded how uncomfortable her husband is with the situation as a whole.

He's packing.

Huzzah for the tippers!