I Am Never Having Children
Today, Jameson had a half day.
He called my mother, from school, at 11 o'clock to ask if a friend could come home with him. She told him "we'll see" - the diplomatic version of "hell no." At 12:30, I got a frantic phone call from my mother informing me that Jameson had just called her from three blocks away - he was on his way home with the afor mentioned friend who did not have permission to come over and could I please get the dishes done.
So i grabbed the dishes and started taking care of them. At this point, Jameson comes home with his friend and proceeds to lock himself in the bathroom for the next hour and a half. Yeah, you guess it - the blueman group emerged.
Back story: About a week ago, my mother told Jameson he could dye his hair. Then she decided to send him with my Grandparents for a week - they do not like Hairdye so he was supposed to wait unitl he got back and I would dye his hair - BLUE. What hte fuck ever, my hair has been every color of the rainbow, sometimes, simultaniously.
Well, apparently he decided he was impatient and did it himself. The walls, his hands, his entire face, the back of his neck, his shirt, the sink, the bathroom floor, and several of our towels are now a semi-permannet smurf blue....everything except the ENTIRE BACK OF HIS HEAD, which is still blonde :P
In any case, if told him to clean up the mess, put white sheets on his bed, swap his pillow cases to white/old t-shirts, bring all of his laundry down so i could get him packed for his two trips, and clean up the disaster in the bathroom.
I've had my fill of tween behaviour for the day, by now and I resume my frantic packing, cleaning, restoring and backing up.
Then I overhear Cody (the friend) mention that he's hungry. Next thing I know, Jameson is no where to be found and I know damn well where they've gone without asking...and his chores aren't done...and by chores i do not mean "Ddily tasks that contribute to the good of the household" I mean, "wash the dye off of the walls you fucking sploser."
He came home to explain to me that they were playing in the gravel road of death. I accuse him of lying. He tries to play it off and ends up with a stupid fucking grin on his face. At this point, enter cody with a piping hot piece of garlic bread.
I wonder how many languages you can say "spending the rest of yourl ife grounded because we give you three rules and you can't follow them." in?
1. Take your phoen with you.
2. Clean up before you leave.
3. Ask before you go anywhere. We'll say yes if you do the two afor mentioned things - you just have to ask so we know where you are.
Fucking hoodlums
He called my mother, from school, at 11 o'clock to ask if a friend could come home with him. She told him "we'll see" - the diplomatic version of "hell no." At 12:30, I got a frantic phone call from my mother informing me that Jameson had just called her from three blocks away - he was on his way home with the afor mentioned friend who did not have permission to come over and could I please get the dishes done.
So i grabbed the dishes and started taking care of them. At this point, Jameson comes home with his friend and proceeds to lock himself in the bathroom for the next hour and a half. Yeah, you guess it - the blueman group emerged.
Back story: About a week ago, my mother told Jameson he could dye his hair. Then she decided to send him with my Grandparents for a week - they do not like Hairdye so he was supposed to wait unitl he got back and I would dye his hair - BLUE. What hte fuck ever, my hair has been every color of the rainbow, sometimes, simultaniously.
Well, apparently he decided he was impatient and did it himself. The walls, his hands, his entire face, the back of his neck, his shirt, the sink, the bathroom floor, and several of our towels are now a semi-permannet smurf blue....everything except the ENTIRE BACK OF HIS HEAD, which is still blonde :P
In any case, if told him to clean up the mess, put white sheets on his bed, swap his pillow cases to white/old t-shirts, bring all of his laundry down so i could get him packed for his two trips, and clean up the disaster in the bathroom.
I've had my fill of tween behaviour for the day, by now and I resume my frantic packing, cleaning, restoring and backing up.
Then I overhear Cody (the friend) mention that he's hungry. Next thing I know, Jameson is no where to be found and I know damn well where they've gone without asking...and his chores aren't done...and by chores i do not mean "Ddily tasks that contribute to the good of the household" I mean, "wash the dye off of the walls you fucking sploser."
He came home to explain to me that they were playing in the gravel road of death. I accuse him of lying. He tries to play it off and ends up with a stupid fucking grin on his face. At this point, enter cody with a piping hot piece of garlic bread.
I wonder how many languages you can say "spending the rest of yourl ife grounded because we give you three rules and you can't follow them." in?
1. Take your phoen with you.
2. Clean up before you leave.
3. Ask before you go anywhere. We'll say yes if you do the two afor mentioned things - you just have to ask so we know where you are.
Fucking hoodlums
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