Welcome To Hell!

I thought - "Hey, it snows all winter. I should really work on getting to be at peace with that." - then this morning happened

5:30 am - Alarm 1 goes off
5:31 am - Alarm 2 goes off
5:32 am - finally register that two alarms are going off. Hit them with blunt objects until they stop beeping, buzzing, blinking, and shaking.
5:35 am - Alarm 3 goes off. It's a computer alarm. Think NOFX. Loud.
5:36 am - Frantically scramble to find keyboard, type password, not go blind, and press mute.
5:37 am - Attempt to reset alarm 1.
5:38 am - Christen December 1st - 2005 "The Great Alarm Clock Slaughter."
5:39 am - Find Cell Phone
5:42 am - Set Cell Phone Alarm and struggle to go back to sleep.
5:45 am - Throw cell phone (at a padded object) because you only got three minutes of snooze time.
5:47 am - Fall into shower.
6:10 am - Practically electrocute self trying to brush teeth and plug in flat iron at the same time
6:15 am - Emerge - dressed, showered and primped
6:20 am - Make toast. Wait.
6:22 am - Leave toast in the toaster. Make Lunch.
6:27 am - Yell at brother to get out of bed
6:30 am - Find coat.
6:34 am - Yell at brother to get out of bed
6:37 am - Check to make sure you have everything together
6:40 am - Yell at brother to get out of bed.
6:42 am - Realize you forgot lunch on counter. Retrieve.
6:45 am - Yell at brother to get out of bed.
6:45 am - Realize you're supposed to be leaving right now.
6:46 am - Yell at mother to make brother hurry.
6:47 am - Overhear argument over brother wearing boots to school. Fall down stairs on way to get said boots.
6:48 am - Walk to car.
6:49 am - Realize locks are frozen shut
6:50 am - Commit Suicide